As we age, our chance of a dementia diagnosis increases from 10% at 65 years old to 30% at 80 years old. If we are diagnosed with dementia, we and perhaps our spousal caregivers are likely in time to withdraw from our social networks and those networks from us.
As explained by former United Methodist Church bishop Kenneth Carder, in our culture we tend to view persons living with dementia through a medical lens, in which a loss of brain function is seen as a loss of identity. Such a view is dehumanizing and can lead to abandonment or neglect.
We can, however, view dementia through a theological lens, that holds a person’s identity is more than their brain and is instead held by family, friends, and community, and above all, God, and that a person living with dementia is on their journey to find God, who knows all and remembers all. This lens removes the stigma associated with dementia and offers a model for support and care.
Respite is a ministry that cares for people living with dementia while providing a break for their caregivers.
A respite ministry is an opportunity for us to care for each other in the moment and to love unselfishly as Christ loves us, and in doing so to enhance and transform our own spiritual path.
Caring Friends is a faith-based all-volunteer respite ministry that offers respite for caregivers, social engagement for individuals living with dementia, and a way for volunteers to give back to their community. Our vision for Caring Friends is to provide support for both caregivers and persons living with dementia as friends, neighbors, and fellow parishioners, and to create a respite ministry that is affordable, convenient, and inclusive of underserved communities throughout the region.
St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Fayetteville, Arkansas, started Caring Friends about 12 years ago as an affordable respite ministry. Friends are the volunteers, visitors, and caregivers in attendance, and Guests are individuals living with dementia. Together, Friends and Guests enjoy four hours of games, crafts, exercise, music, food, and companionship once per week on Thursdays.
The leadership of Caring Friends of St. Paul’s in recent years has assisted Schmieding Senior Center in Springdale, FUMC of Bella Vista, and FUMC of Rogers in developing similar programs based on their model. The Schmieding Center’s program is once per week on Fridays and differs in that it has social workers on staff and student interns from the University of Arkansas to assist. The Schmieding Center also gives training on a regular schedule for respite ministry volunteers. FUMC of Bella Vista and FUMC of Rogers offer a Caring Friends program once per month on the 2nd and 3rd Wednesdays, respectively.
Caring Friends operates as an unlicensed non-medical day care, which by Arkansas law limits the number of guests to 12 or less, or the number of meetings to four hours or less per day and no more than two days per week (other restrictions apply). Guests must be able to walk (or use a cane, walker, or wheelchair), talk, eat, use the toilet, and medicate without assistance during the four-hour program.
The leadership and volunteers of Caring Friends practice person-centered care as recommended by the Alzheimer’s Association:
- Know the person living with dementia,
- Recognize and accept the person’s reality,
- Identify and support opportunities for meaningful engagement,
- Build and nurture authentic caring relationships,
- Create and maintain a supportive community for individuals, families, and staff, and
- Evaluate care practices regularly and make changes.
Funds for Caring Friends are raised in three ways: small donations from attending Guests, a plate collection within the church, and in-kind and cash donations from Friends and other generous donors.
United Methodist congregations can contribute to respite ministries in many ways: by visits with homebound parishioners, by offering spiritual support in memory care or nursing facilities, by hosting a respite program within their church or community, by volunteering with an existing program, or with donations of money, food, and supplies to existing programs, as examples.
If you have any questions or comments regarding Caring Friends, please contact by email or text Noreen Poor at CaringFriends@FUMCBellaVista.com or Judy Simpson at CaringFriends@FUMCRogers.org.